The Ice

My wonderful friend Daryck wrote to me after he read yesterday's blog entry.



Thanks Adrian!! That was wonderful. I didn't see the man 'all in black' as death in the literal sense, but more as the death of one's will. Things are rough right now, and that motivated me to say "no" - I'm not giving up, I just have to be patient. There is so much I want to do in the world, and for some reason my time feels almost too short - ever feel that way?

Thanks!
Muah!
Daryck

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To which I got a little carried away with my reply. A little too deep and almost laughable...but honest. Here's the story I shared with him:

'for some reason my time feels almost too short'

have I ever felt that way?
every day of my life.
but giving up should never be an option

The other day I was walking to a bar to meet up with a friend. It was cold outside. I could see my breath. I was walking fast because I got off the train one stop short of where I was supposed to get off. I was running late. I hate being late after telling someone I will be somewhere at a certain time. I was walking fast, real fast. I kept beating myself up for getting off at the wrong stop, for potentially making my friend wait. I was being so mean to myself, being so irrational. Then it happened. I didn't realize that a portion of the sidewalk ahead was covered in ice. I just kept full speed, cursing at myself. "You are such an idiot! How could you have gotten off the wrong stop? why didn't you just wait for the next train? what makes you think walking is going to get you there faster?" then my foot reached the ice. I lost control! The foot slid so fast I felt someone had pulled the ground from under my feet. my hands flew every which way attempting to gain my balance. I let out a little "wow" and then just like that I gained my position. the ice was past me and I was lucky not to have fallen. I looked back making sure no one saw that embarrassing moment. A car drove by as if nothing had happened. there was not a soul on that street. I laughed. I felt so silly. I felt so silly for beating myself up just minutes before.



So what if I got off at the wrong stop? I just slid and could have fallen on my ass, hurting myself, breaking my wrist, or banging my head getting a concussion of sorts. I could have gotten hurt out on an empty street with no one I knew around to help me, in the bitter wintery cold.
And so I laughed and smiled, and felt like all the tension was lifted off my shoulders. I came back down.

If I hadn't gotten off at the wrong stop I wouldn't have experience such a rush on the ice. I wouldn't have reached such a realization that night, or I should say have gotten that reminder. The reminder that you simply have to be good to yourself because sometimes you may find yourself on a cold winter's night, in a lonely street, on the verge of falling. and if you do, you have to laugh and smile and say I got myself into this mess, I can get myself out of it.

sorry for this long ass message. you just made me think of that moment for some reason.

thank you for being around sir.
big hugs to you.
-A

ps- speaking of being good to yourself, yes, I totally got plastered that night.lol Hey, you know how it goes, one drink leads to two, two to three, and before you know it you are dancing naked on the bar.lol

I found the following beautiful video on my new myspace friend Michael
I think Daryck would like it very much