Cleaning Up My Act
It's been three weeks since I had my last drink of alcohol and coffee...well, I did cheat and had some booze two weeks ago but that didn't go over well.
It's also been two weeks since my last cigarette.
If I may be honest, I've been rather depressed for the last three weeks.
Sometimes it shows, sometimes I don't think people notice.
The sadness came from having to give up those three vises, alcohol, coffee, and cigarettes.
I knew that abusing those substances was bad for me, but I simply didn't care.
Getting drunk is fun.
Coffee in the morning is delicious.
And a smoke after sex is the best.
Oh, how I loved my booze, coffee, and smokes.
Unfortunately my body didn't love it as much as my mind did and when my body started to break down it was a clear sign that my favorite trio had to go.
That's what made me decide to quit...well, that, and the fact that the doctor said I had to stop unless I wanted things to get worse.
Doctors, ptsss, what do they know? Just because they go to school for like, I don't know, 10 years they think they know what's best for my body...ok, so maybe they do.
The hardest thing so far has been socializing.
I think that's where my depression came from.
How could I socialize if I can't drink booze and have some smokes?
But today I woke up feeling better than I have in a long time. Could be a mixture of things: the weather for one, it is no longer 100 degrees outside.
Damn heat wave was melting the city. Damn you Al Gore and your global warming!
Maybe it's also the fact that my body got rid of a lot of toxins.
Maybe it's the fact that I'm accepting this new sober life.
Maybe it's the fact that I'm remembering the person I used to be back in high school when I didn't drink or smoke.
That used to be a really fun person.
Somehow that person started drinking and smoking excessively in his twenties to cover up some of the hurt that came with growing up, loosing loved ones, and simply not having life go my way.
I'm one year away from being 30 years old.
I think this is a good time to go back to that old me that I had forgotten.
That person that I buried deep down inside because I was too busy stressing out about how I should live my life.
I feel like my twenties was a crash course that hopefully has prepared me to live a better life.
This is why I see my 30s as a fresh start, unlike other gays who see their 30s as the end of their happy days.
ok, I won't lie, getting old sucks...but, sometimes getting older feels like an accomplishment.
Every year that goes by where I don't kill myself or others, I think that should be celebrated....unless, of course you're in jail for killing someone, then maybe not so much.
A look back at when the doc told me NO MORE BOOZE OR COFFEE.
It's also been two weeks since my last cigarette.
If I may be honest, I've been rather depressed for the last three weeks.
Sometimes it shows, sometimes I don't think people notice.
The sadness came from having to give up those three vises, alcohol, coffee, and cigarettes.
I knew that abusing those substances was bad for me, but I simply didn't care.
Getting drunk is fun.
Coffee in the morning is delicious.
And a smoke after sex is the best.
Oh, how I loved my booze, coffee, and smokes.
Unfortunately my body didn't love it as much as my mind did and when my body started to break down it was a clear sign that my favorite trio had to go.
That's what made me decide to quit...well, that, and the fact that the doctor said I had to stop unless I wanted things to get worse.
Doctors, ptsss, what do they know? Just because they go to school for like, I don't know, 10 years they think they know what's best for my body...ok, so maybe they do.
The hardest thing so far has been socializing.
I think that's where my depression came from.
How could I socialize if I can't drink booze and have some smokes?
But today I woke up feeling better than I have in a long time. Could be a mixture of things: the weather for one, it is no longer 100 degrees outside.
Damn heat wave was melting the city. Damn you Al Gore and your global warming!
Maybe it's also the fact that my body got rid of a lot of toxins.
Maybe it's the fact that I'm accepting this new sober life.
Maybe it's the fact that I'm remembering the person I used to be back in high school when I didn't drink or smoke.
That used to be a really fun person.
Somehow that person started drinking and smoking excessively in his twenties to cover up some of the hurt that came with growing up, loosing loved ones, and simply not having life go my way.
I'm one year away from being 30 years old.
I think this is a good time to go back to that old me that I had forgotten.
That person that I buried deep down inside because I was too busy stressing out about how I should live my life.
I feel like my twenties was a crash course that hopefully has prepared me to live a better life.
This is why I see my 30s as a fresh start, unlike other gays who see their 30s as the end of their happy days.
ok, I won't lie, getting old sucks...but, sometimes getting older feels like an accomplishment.
Every year that goes by where I don't kill myself or others, I think that should be celebrated....unless, of course you're in jail for killing someone, then maybe not so much.
A look back at when the doc told me NO MORE BOOZE OR COFFEE.
posted by A at
June 11, 2008
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