6/30/2008

Slow Down

I keep telling myself to slow down.
take some time, for me.
but I have to go out the door in 30 mins.
doctor is waiting with a needle
gotta get my allergy shot twice a week.
could be worse I tell myself
but that doesn't really help.
things are not all that grey
I just need a daily break

Jason Mraz provides that

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6/26/2008

Buy the Way

I'm not sure who reads this, if anyone at all really reads this.
The fact is this is on the internet so someone someday may actually read this.
To that person reading I ask:

Who do you think I am?
Who do you think I think I am?

I ask out of curiosity. Because sometimes I feel people on the internet have a certain perception of me based on my videos, art, photography, writing, etc.

I get emails from strangers thanking me for what I put out into cyber space.
I get personal letters telling me of their hardships.
Every week someone reaches out to tell me they like my "stuff."

So far, most of my "stuff" has been on the internet for free. People don't have to pay for a thing...sometimes I wonder how I'll be able to make a living doing my "stuff." That would be a dream come true. To quit my day job and be able to do my art, photography, and performances for a living.

One thing is strangers telling me they like my stuff, the other is them liking my stuff enough to buy it.

If I were to offer some pieces would they buy?
And most importantly would they tell others to buy?

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6/24/2008

That's a Wrap...or is it Rap?

The film is all done.
we were able to submit it 30 min before the deadline Monday night.
shoooooo, so close.
Here are two cool photos of me and my guy during this awesome adventure.
I think we make a dynamically gay duo!
I hope this is just one of many films we work on together.

Photos by Jesse Chiang and Peter He

Brainstorming - coming up with a storyline during pre-production


"Look what I took a photo of"

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6/22/2008

5 minutes to save the world

boy oh boy what a day.
yesterday I joined a team of filmmakers in a little film competition.
starting yesterday at 8pm we were given a theme "first good-bye" and only 72 hours to complete the film.
the writers stayed up writing all night.
today we spent the day on location in Long Island City where there were plenty of writing revisions.
I was recruited, by the wonderful guy I'm dating, to do still shots on the set.
the fantastic guy I'm dating is doing the cinematography.
did I mention he's wonderful and fantastic, ya know, the guy I'm dating. lol

It was a very long day. woke up at 8:30am and I'm just now (3am) going to bed.
tomorrow morning will be a very long day of shooting starting around 10am until we are done with all the scenes.
which could be some time after 10pm.
we have to have the short 5 minute film filmed, edited, and scored by Monday night at 8pm.
I'll probably post some still shots on Monday when I go home.
oh, I forgot to mention that I'm staying over at the apartment of the amazing, wonderful, and fantastic guy I'm dating.
Oh, I forgot to mention that he's also very very talented.

I'm going to bed now zzzzzzzzz

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6/20/2008

30 Years from Now

As I continue to work on the book I'm writing I find myself seeing life in a different light.
Last night I finished writing a summary of the past 11 years of my life.
I did this so that I can see where the highs and lows have been.
I have eleven pages listing accomplishments, failures, and occurrences.
Each page for a different year of my life.
Some with smaller font size than others but all filled with meeting and losing people that have made my life worth living.
I hope to have the book finished by my 30th birthday next year.
30 years of existence, wow so little, yet looking back it seems like so much.
I can't even start to imagine what the next 30 years will bring...well, I will dedicate the last chapter to describe what I would like my next 30 years to be like.
It'll be fun to look back at that chapter 30 years from now to see what came to be and what were simply silly little dreams.
It'll be interesting to see who of the loved ones in my life today will still be there 30 years from now...that's a whole other book.

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6/18/2008

Another One Bites the Dust

This morning I finished reading "Dude, Where's my Country" by Michael Moore. I strongly recommend you read it before the November presidential election. Even though the book was written in 2003 and it talks mostly about the Bush administration I think it is still relevant today...especially if you believe that a vote for McCain is the same as voting for Bush.

I've said it before and I'll say it again, I'm not a big fan of Michael Moore but I respect his work. The man does make a good point most of the time.

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6/15/2008

Tagged

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6/13/2008

Bed Time

Here's the deal, I can tell you a long story or I can simply give you my opinion and then ask you what you think about it.
And by "you" I mean my mother since I believe she is the only person that reads this blog.

It is my belief that if you have a twin size bed you might not be ready for a committed relationship.

What? Where did that come from? Oh, there's a story behind this but it's too long and complicated for a blog.
So, here's my logic.

If you have a twin size bed then you are pretty much saying "I sleep alone."

Two people can have sex on a twin bed but there is no way two adults of average size, not Wizard of Oz "little people," can sleep comfortably on a twin size bed. There is just no way. And that's what people in a relationship do right, they not only have sex but they sleep together. They rest together. A twin bed sends the message of "I'm open to a sexual relationship but I'm not sure about a committed relationship."

What do you think? At what point should a person get rid of their twin size bed? How old does a person have to be to buy a full, queen, or king size bed?

I'm sure my opinion is a product of my time since I remember my grandparents used to sleep in separate twin beds. Those were some weird times.
Married people sleeping in separate beds? WTF? The sad thing about that, sleeping in separate twin beds, is that you can't give your spouse a Dutch Oven.

What do you think? Is your bed for two?

oh, in case you were wondering my bed is a full size with a very very comfortable mattress :-)

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6/12/2008

Reunion?

My old rock band has resumed talks about having one huge reunion concert this year!
The guys and I all have our own solo projects but maybe, just maybe, we'll get back together one last time to rock out!
All for the fans baby.

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6/11/2008

Cleaning Up My Act

It's been three weeks since I had my last drink of alcohol and coffee...well, I did cheat and had some booze two weeks ago but that didn't go over well.
It's also been two weeks since my last cigarette.
If I may be honest, I've been rather depressed for the last three weeks.
Sometimes it shows, sometimes I don't think people notice.
The sadness came from having to give up those three vises, alcohol, coffee, and cigarettes.
I knew that abusing those substances was bad for me, but I simply didn't care.
Getting drunk is fun.
Coffee in the morning is delicious.
And a smoke after sex is the best.
Oh, how I loved my booze, coffee, and smokes.

Unfortunately my body didn't love it as much as my mind did and when my body started to break down it was a clear sign that my favorite trio had to go.
That's what made me decide to quit...well, that, and the fact that the doctor said I had to stop unless I wanted things to get worse.
Doctors, ptsss, what do they know? Just because they go to school for like, I don't know, 10 years they think they know what's best for my body...ok, so maybe they do.
The hardest thing so far has been socializing.
I think that's where my depression came from.
How could I socialize if I can't drink booze and have some smokes?

But today I woke up feeling better than I have in a long time. Could be a mixture of things: the weather for one, it is no longer 100 degrees outside.
Damn heat wave was melting the city. Damn you Al Gore and your global warming!
Maybe it's also the fact that my body got rid of a lot of toxins.
Maybe it's the fact that I'm accepting this new sober life.
Maybe it's the fact that I'm remembering the person I used to be back in high school when I didn't drink or smoke.
That used to be a really fun person.
Somehow that person started drinking and smoking excessively in his twenties to cover up some of the hurt that came with growing up, loosing loved ones, and simply not having life go my way.

I'm one year away from being 30 years old.
I think this is a good time to go back to that old me that I had forgotten.
That person that I buried deep down inside because I was too busy stressing out about how I should live my life.
I feel like my twenties was a crash course that hopefully has prepared me to live a better life.
This is why I see my 30s as a fresh start, unlike other gays who see their 30s as the end of their happy days.

ok, I won't lie, getting old sucks...but, sometimes getting older feels like an accomplishment.
Every year that goes by where I don't kill myself or others, I think that should be celebrated....unless, of course you're in jail for killing someone, then maybe not so much.

A look back at when the doc told me NO MORE BOOZE OR COFFEE.

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6/10/2008

My First Book

I went to sleep at 3:30am last night.
I stayed up working on the book I'm writing.
I meet with my future book editor tomorrow for a jog and to talk business so I stayed up hoping to get a clearer picture of what the book is about so I can explain it to him in detail. There's so many layers to this book that it's making my head spin. I'm loving the process though.
I really hope to have the book done by my 30th birthday, that's April of 2009. It'll be symbolic to me.
You'll see why once you read it.

Waking up at 7:30am this morning to go to the day job wasn't easy.

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6/09/2008

Hot Rappers!

There's a heat wave moving through New York and it is HOT!!!
Almost as hot as Soce's show this past Saturday!!
Amnesia was the special guest at Soce's concert Saturday night at Parkside Lounge and for the first time ever she RAPPED LIVE in front of an audience!!!! WORD!
Step aside Lil' Kim, there's a new Foxy brown in town!

Soce was kind enough to add Amnesia vocals to two of his NEW Tracks and she did a sassy little rap during the dance break on "SMT" which had the crowd cheering.

Listen to some of Soce's hits HERE
Some crowd favorits include "SMT" "I'm So Gay" and "Grossed Out"

Check out some snap shots taken by the super nice and super sexy Erik!




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6/04/2008

Amnesia LIVE!



This Saturday coming up Amnesia Sparkles (my alter-ego) will be performing LIVE on stage with the amazing Soce.

A couple of months ago Amnesia recorded a hook for one of Soce's songs that will be on Soce's upcoming album.

Although Amnesia is on a bit of a break she could not say no to Soce's invitation to take the stage this Saturday.

It might just get crazy on stage. Amnesia might rap on another song by Soce which is guarantee to put a big grin on your face.

So come on out this Saturday and welcome the summer with Soce and Amnesia.

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