2/29/2008

The Ice

My wonderful friend Daryck wrote to me after he read yesterday's blog entry.



Thanks Adrian!! That was wonderful. I didn't see the man 'all in black' as death in the literal sense, but more as the death of one's will. Things are rough right now, and that motivated me to say "no" - I'm not giving up, I just have to be patient. There is so much I want to do in the world, and for some reason my time feels almost too short - ever feel that way?

Thanks!
Muah!
Daryck

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To which I got a little carried away with my reply. A little too deep and almost laughable...but honest. Here's the story I shared with him:

'for some reason my time feels almost too short'

have I ever felt that way?
every day of my life.
but giving up should never be an option

The other day I was walking to a bar to meet up with a friend. It was cold outside. I could see my breath. I was walking fast because I got off the train one stop short of where I was supposed to get off. I was running late. I hate being late after telling someone I will be somewhere at a certain time. I was walking fast, real fast. I kept beating myself up for getting off at the wrong stop, for potentially making my friend wait. I was being so mean to myself, being so irrational. Then it happened. I didn't realize that a portion of the sidewalk ahead was covered in ice. I just kept full speed, cursing at myself. "You are such an idiot! How could you have gotten off the wrong stop? why didn't you just wait for the next train? what makes you think walking is going to get you there faster?" then my foot reached the ice. I lost control! The foot slid so fast I felt someone had pulled the ground from under my feet. my hands flew every which way attempting to gain my balance. I let out a little "wow" and then just like that I gained my position. the ice was past me and I was lucky not to have fallen. I looked back making sure no one saw that embarrassing moment. A car drove by as if nothing had happened. there was not a soul on that street. I laughed. I felt so silly. I felt so silly for beating myself up just minutes before.



So what if I got off at the wrong stop? I just slid and could have fallen on my ass, hurting myself, breaking my wrist, or banging my head getting a concussion of sorts. I could have gotten hurt out on an empty street with no one I knew around to help me, in the bitter wintery cold.
And so I laughed and smiled, and felt like all the tension was lifted off my shoulders. I came back down.

If I hadn't gotten off at the wrong stop I wouldn't have experience such a rush on the ice. I wouldn't have reached such a realization that night, or I should say have gotten that reminder. The reminder that you simply have to be good to yourself because sometimes you may find yourself on a cold winter's night, in a lonely street, on the verge of falling. and if you do, you have to laugh and smile and say I got myself into this mess, I can get myself out of it.

sorry for this long ass message. you just made me think of that moment for some reason.

thank you for being around sir.
big hugs to you.
-A

ps- speaking of being good to yourself, yes, I totally got plastered that night.lol Hey, you know how it goes, one drink leads to two, two to three, and before you know it you are dancing naked on the bar.lol

I found the following beautiful video on my new myspace friend Michael
I think Daryck would like it very much

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2/28/2008

Let's Go

You hear a knock at the door.
You get off the couch.
You walk towards the door.
Your hand grips the handle.
You turn it without asking who is on the other side.
Your reckless like that
Or naive, you don't know which.
Slowly you pull the door open.
There he stands.
All in black.
You recognize him
You freeze waiting for him to say something
He stands silently staring at you.
Dark eyes that tell you to come with him.
You know it's a one way trip
You will have to leave everything behind
Everything
and
Everyone.
You know this.
He speaks.
He tells you it's time to go.
Your hand grips the door handle firmly.
You think of slamming the door.
How can someone else tell you it's time
When your hand is still on the door handle?
You can still close the door
You have the power.
It's not time yet
You tell yourself.
You think of all you've still to do.
You think of all that you had planned
All you would not be able to do if you left now.
You still have homework to do.
You look at him in the eyes
and with your hand still grasping the door knob
you say one word
"No."
You shut and lock the door.
You breathe
and smile.
He'll just have to come back another day.

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2/24/2008

Oscar Wieners, I mean Winners

Here is the latest collaboration between Amnesia and I.
Together we celebrated the Oscars this year by making art and making funnies.
I hope you enjoy it.



My version of the Oscar Statue:



5" x 8" color pencil, dry pastels on paper

closer look




even closer look

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2/20/2008

Adrian & Amnesia Together Again

This week I collaborated with Amnesia Sparkles for the second time. Yeah yeah, I know she and I are the same person but you'd be surprised how many people don't realize it at first. Especially when I leave a comment on an Amnesia video taking the hater's side. They are all like "That's a gross tranny" and I'm all like "Yeah, trannies are gross," and they are all like "Yeah man, you're cool for thinking like me." Oh, some people are so dumb, I love it.

This week I'll be working on an Oscar theme video and drawing so I figured I'd get Amnesia involved. Sure enough, things got crazy fun as they usually do when Miss Sparkles is around. Check out a preview to a video I'll be posting this Sunday.

enjoy.


The first time Amnesia and I collaborated was when she looked a bit less desirable. The beauty mast makes here look like some crazy ass clown don't you think?




Make sure to check back on Sunday after you watch the Oscars.

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2/19/2008

Viewer Mail

I just got some viewer mail from a young lad in the UK by the name of John.
Here's a bit of what it said in regards to my photography:

"Looking at some of the pictures has given me some inspiration for me to start doing photography again"

It's the little things like that email that mean the world to me. At the end of the day I do what I do because I love doing it but to have the ability to connect with someone through the arts...it's beautiful.

I'm really happy UK John emailed me. It totally made my day.

I shall write him a BIG thank you note.

-A
ps - John has the COOOLLLEST tattoo on his back! I wonder if he'll let me show it to you...Oh what the hell, I'm sure he doesn't mind. I mean, the tattoo is freaking awesome!!!!



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2/17/2008

Am I Here?

Do you ever get those days where you're just not sure if you are here?
You feel like you are in a daze.
Floating.
You feel no pain...
Yet you feel no pleasure.
You are comfortably numb.
Maybe I'm feeling a little funny because
I've been thinking of my uncle's death.
He passed away two days ago.
Cancer.
I want to feel sad but I can't.
Like I told my mother,
I feel he's past the worst.
If anything hurts it's hearing mom cry.
There's nothing worse than hearing one's mother cry.
Mother's should never have a reason to cry.
I wish mother's would never have to cry.



On a positive note, I found an old drawing I made on an index card while on the subway. I can't even remember when I did this but I remember not liking it much at the time. Now I actually dig it.



I like the fact that if you turn it it's like looking at 4 different drawings.




I was listening to this song when I found the drawing.









I think listening to the song while looking at the drawing enhances the experience.




Enjoy. Life. Is. Too Short.
-A

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2/16/2008

Shaving Hair/ Fight Cancer



My Uncle died of cancer as I was finishing the drawing in the video February 15th, 2008. My Grandmother died of cancer in 2006.
I dedicate this video to their memory.



Music
"I Run for Life" Melissa Etheridge

If you want to help fight cancer please visit any of the following links
Hugh's hair CURES CANCER
http://youtube.com/watch?v=JZOSVvJYkP0
and/or
http://www.stbaldricks.org
http://www.revlonrunwalk.com/


learn about cancer here
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=faBEomKLJZY



5" x 8" color pencil, dry pastels on paper

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2/13/2008

Britney Hair Buzz!

Earlier I decided I'd be buzzing my hair off (ala Britney Spears) this weekend as part of an art project I'd be doing...I couldn't wait till the weekend. heehee.

Here is my hair before I wished it goodbye a few minutes ago.


I hope to have the project ready in the next week or so.
I'll show you the end product then
: )
hugs,
-A
ps - my head feels so much lighter. It feels good!

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2/07/2008

Amnesia Sparkles 2008



I just finished doing a photoshoot with my alter-ego Amnesia Sparkles.
We wanted to do a few test shots. Simple, clean, fun. I hope to have the set photoshop and ready in a few days.
I'm not sure I like these as press photos but they can go into her/my portfolio for now.

Update:

See photo set click HERE

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2/01/2008

Sleepless

You know those nights when you have way too much on your mind and you simply can't fall asleep? I decided to pull out my camera one sleepless night in March 2007 to capture the anxiety.

I didn't plan these photos they simply came into existence.

This is the result.


"Nuclear Nightmare"



"Rocks for a Bed"



"Bad Dreamland"
*The map of the Middle East with Iraq in red superimposed over the body of a young naked male on a warm comfortable bed.



"Dreams of Fields"





If you would like to order 8"x10" prints please email me at Adrian@AdrianAcosta.com. I will be making a limited number of prints. Each print will be numbered and signed and it will come with a certificate of authenticity.

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