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"In the Beginning " 1:40
"Organized Chaos (aka Tommy Song – Underground mix)" 4:13
"Love Ya (a song for Teva) " 1:05
"Tip-Toeing " 1:26
"Rage Against the Tip-Toeing" 2:32
"Teva Song " 1:03
"Love Ya (smooth mix) " 0:43
"Reflections" 8:30
"Tommy Song (improvised song to a friend)" 8:23
Storytellers
Here are the stories behind each track of my "Experiment" stage back in 1999-2000.
That year marked the pinnacle of the existential vacuum I found myself in. I had many new beginnings that year, moved out of my parent's house, moved back into my parent's house, got new car, had big Amnesia Halloween Show, lost love of my life, got back together, lost him again, etc.
I also had bought a Yamaha keyboard, and whenever I couldn't express how I felt with words or drawings I just plucked away on those ebony and ivory keys.
"In the Beginning" was born on a lonely night, having lost my teenage years, and thinking of how my life was bound to change because I knew I wasn't on the right track. I needed to move away, I needed to leave the Florida nest if I was destined to grow into an adult.
My life was pretty mundane at the time since I maintained a full time job and was attending collage, yet it felt very chaotic and lacking direction. "Organized Chaos (aka Tommy Song – Underground mix)" was born from my frustration with life. At the time my friend Tommy also had a very difficult time with his boyfriend who ended up in jail after a domestic dispute. I still remember visiting Tommy's lover in jail experiencing a hard to erase memory.
"Tip-Toeing" and "Rage Against the Tip-Toeing" was a continuation of how I was living life at the time. I felt I had to watch every step; afraid to fall, yet my instinct simply wanted to rebel against the system and destroy everything in sight. I just couldn't understand why life hurt so much.
When we, my ex-boyfriend and I at the time, finally broke up for the last time, after two and a half years of being together on and off, I could not bring myself to tell him that I still loved him. The best I could do is to tell him "Love Ya" a phrase that didn't mean the same as "I love you" but it still showed that he meant the world to me. And so I wrote him a song.
The "Teva" song I made when my ex and I were still together and I didn't yet have a keyboard (hence why all the sounds were made with my voice). "Teva" was his name. It brought a great big smile to his face, a smile I still remember to this day. Listen carefully and you'll hear a three-part harmony, drums, bass, and more all done with the oldest instrument, the human voice.
I recorded "Reflections" completely improvised. I closed my eyes and let my fingers hit the keyboard letting them go where they wanted to. It was a form of meditation, a meditation I still practice whenever I feel I'm slipping away. I simply play the track, close my eyes, and let myself drift into a serene place.
"Tommy Song" was a complete joke. I never had a piano lesson in my life so I didn't know what I was doing. All I knew was that I had a best friend that I loved and wanted to tell him so in a creative way. I started plucking away at the keys and the words seem to follow completly improvized. In the end "Tommy Song" might be a little boring but if you can find the humor in it, and you can imagine your best friend making a silly song for you then you know how touching it really is.
I didn't make music to become rich and famous. I didn't create music to have it played on MTV. I simply had a need to express myself in the only way I knew how at the time. To some it may sound like a bunch of noice but to me it will always be music to my ears: especially those songs I wrote about/for those I love.
I hope you enjoy them as much as I enjoyed recordning them.
Tommy Song - Lyrics
Tommy, Oh Tommy
You're so white boy
Everybody loves you
Because you're a cracker
With your blue eyes
No rhythm and the blonde hair
I can't believe you don't cook
You eat Taco Rot (aka Taco Bell)
Once they didn't get your order right
And you called the hotline
And complained
They said you would get a free Taco or something
I wonder if you ever got your taco
Every time you have a party
It rocks the house
Last time I dropped some candle wax
On your toilet
you got mad
Was blue on the toilet
Remember when Jesse caught that lizard that day
You thought that was so cool
You're afraid of all the lizards and you ran like a girl.
You said, "Oh My God that's disgusting I can't believe it's in my couch"
You talk online with a hundred million people at a time
You type so fast you work for 911 you rock even though you're a cracker
And you're Tommy, you're Tommy
You're Tommy, You're Tommy
My tummy hurts from this stupid song I wrote for you
My tummy is gonna throw up the Slim Fast that I had
Because I'm gagging
From this song I'm gagging
Oh Tommy I love you, Tommy I love
My friend Tommy
You're probably tired of listen' to this song
You're wondering when it's gonna end I wonder to some time
Piano solo
I hope that you don't ask for me to sing song live cause I can't
See I'm improvising every note, every note I make
And it's all for you my Tommy friend
Oh Tommy, Oh Tommy
For you I sing this song
For you I made this stupid song
For you I clean the house
I make the bed
I do the laundry
I cook and clean
You call me Puta
It's ok I love the way you speak Spanish to me
Oh Tommy, Me
I hope you like this song it's for you
My Tommy
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